Sam El Arrasi

"I am 20 years old, currently living in Germany, but planning to move with my friends to Barcelona, Spain to attend an art university this September. I love every form of art and I do pretty much everything (writing, photography, drawing, painting, music...) just as a hobby and out of passion.
Writing has always been a way for me to understand what goes through my head. I've been keeping journals since I was 12 and I've been trying to figure myself out in them since then. My writing is something really personal to me and I am trying my hardest to open up more and to be able to share it because every time I did it in the past, people have always related. That is the whole point of it, I want people to relate to my confusion and to maybe even help them understand theirs a little better."

Instagram: @sam.wxxlf

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to make peace with your demons you're required to aknowledge them you can't kiss off something you never welcomed properly
you can't blow the horn without holding it steadily
you cant drive a car without an ignition to put the key in
you cant bleed out your worries by having immaculate skin
you cant burn off what makes you fade without lighting the match
so go off kid,
light everything on fire until you have to run away
burn all the bridges so nothing can get out and everyone is forced to stay to stay and learn about what your walls are built of
show them the tearing on the wallpaper and the punch holes on the doors show them the beautiful flowers between the cracks of the worn-out floors and the paintings packed in boxes on the basement
and just know that you'll never reach freedom
because you already are free
and the only thing holding you back is the blindfold of lies and the rules that dictate what you should be
so go off kid,
run freely across the universe of your days
step on every mile of dirt and concrete of your city in a daze
and show yourself what you are made of
the crushed meteors on your face, the stars in your eyes
let them shine while you smile up to someone else's gaze
and just be
be and keep being
and stop being only when your heartbeat stops beating
because that will happen sooner or later without a doubt
either dying young or dying old while we shout
the point is to cash in on everything with nothing to feel remorseful about
...
you took a look into my world of words
into my thoughts turned into sentences turned into scribbles you turned the pages with care, trying not to break me
i only guided you to dead ends, superfluous poetry
empty words, cliché assumptions
because i never learned how to open up
i dont know how to open up
i'd rather talk to myself about my problems
than sharing them with someone else
i'd rather write them down, read and re-read them,
cover them up with art, rip off the pages
than letting someone else explain them to me
there is always going to be a wall between me and the world and i feel like you and i are the same in that aspect
that is what fucks me up
that i feel like i am looking at my own reflection
evertime you look me in the eyes
and I am sick of missing out on you and everything else every second of my days I wish I could be the actress instead of the watcher
that I could just talk, act, laugh, scream, live and dream, like everyone else
observing gives me the freedom of not having to put myself out there just taking everything in, without letting anything out
because truth is I have nothing to give
I hope no one ever finds out