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​Writing: Issue 11

PHOTO BY ​Alexander Coltrane

​

Scott McConnell

3/11/2019

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"I'm a 23 year old from Belfast, Northern Ireland. I began using writing and poetry as a cathartic and healing outlet a few years ago after developing a physical illness at 19 that halted my athletic dreams as a martial artist. My poetry consists mostly of the frustrations of unfulfilled potential and lost love."

Bed Ridden

Bed ridden in a room with windows unable to be opened while temperature scorch creating a greenhouse of Misery, 10 long sleepless nights with the Agony of a crippled arm and immobilized leg torturing my lust for life. Morphine teases me with a moment of pain free consciousness and then mocks my relief as the pain reemerges from its brief slumber. Being temporarily dependent on others for survival rekindles my gratitude for human kindness. I suffer in the sorrow of what could be. Is this the cruel hand of fate or the chaos of the butterfly effect?


Scream into the Void
Look at me,
Starring at the clock on weekdays,
Wishing for time to move faster,
As I move slower through life,
Waiting,
For the weekend to come,
So I can indulge in the pleasures of the damned,
And drink my woes into oblivion,
Until they are born again,
Monday morning,

I have become the very thing i used to loath,
Stuck in a motionless state of self centred pity,
Or heading 100 miles an hour to my own self destruction,
Years ago,
My youthful exuberance and passion would defeat common place acceptance of stagnated living on a daily basis,
While the dedication to dreams would subdue the demons of excess,
  A one tack mind trailblazing towards victory,
But then,
Sickness of mind and body took hold,
Stifling my souls own story,
Scattering paranoid thoughts,
And Imprisoning hope,

It seems we either die before we get the chance  to fulfil are dreams,
Or live long enough to throw them away on a dead end job of Misery,
Except for those lucky few,
Who's courage, hard work and luck soar them to the mountain top of beautiful contentment,
My ego breeds jealousy  but my heart fills with pride,
How I admire you so,
..
Congratulations
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