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"As a victim of domestic violence, I know how hard it can be to understand and cope with an abusive situation. If there is anything that you take away from my writing, I hope it includes the courage to reach out and get help for yourself or your loved ones if needed."
-- TRIGGER WARNING OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE -- |
Instagram: @_kellylo |
It’s 11 pm and Mom isn’t home yet
Dad’s drunk as usual and past the point of delusional
Waiting for her to come home
I’m in my room studying but can’t ignore his distant muttering
“When she’s finally done whoring around, you best believe she’ll be suffering”
Fear begins to seep into my skin
Dad wants to know where Mom has been
But she doesn’t want to talk to him
Won’t even pick up his phone calls
Because 9 months ago, he accused her of stealing his money and since then
She hasn’t thought of him as her honey
Every day she waits for an apology that doesn’t come
Every day her heart feels reduced to crumbs
And all because he is too prideful to apologize
Every day he wonders why she’s so upset
Every day he feels no ounce of regret
-
It’s midnight and I’m filled with fright because I know they’re about to fight and I try with all my might
To block out their voices
She walks past him and his interrogation
Fueling his frustration
Until she is forcefully grabbed by the hem of her shirt
And I’m still sitting in my room
Not knowing what to do
So I close my eyes
And try to tell myself it’s all just a lie
But as every second goes by
Her pain amplifies
Along with her cries
The struggle continues until they make it into the bedroom
Five seconds later I hear a loud boom
He’s pinned her to the bed
Repeatedly hits her in the head
And her blood curdling scream lets me know this is not a dream
“Stop! Stop!
Kelly, please call the cops!”
But I can’t, Mom
You see
Why do you only acknowledge me
When you need someone to help you flee
The predicament that you got yourself into
Why did you say that if it weren’t for me-
That I’m the only key
That can unlock you from all your troubles
A part of me
Hears your pleas
But another part of me
Wants to see
You suffer
You neglected me in the past
So maybe you should’ve asked
Someone other than your own daughter
She mercilessly pounds on my door
But it’s locked and she falls to the floor
Leaving trails of blood on the white paint
And I’m hiding under my bed
Knowing that she bled
Dad’s drunk as usual and past the point of delusional
Waiting for her to come home
I’m in my room studying but can’t ignore his distant muttering
“When she’s finally done whoring around, you best believe she’ll be suffering”
Fear begins to seep into my skin
Dad wants to know where Mom has been
But she doesn’t want to talk to him
Won’t even pick up his phone calls
Because 9 months ago, he accused her of stealing his money and since then
She hasn’t thought of him as her honey
Every day she waits for an apology that doesn’t come
Every day her heart feels reduced to crumbs
And all because he is too prideful to apologize
Every day he wonders why she’s so upset
Every day he feels no ounce of regret
-
It’s midnight and I’m filled with fright because I know they’re about to fight and I try with all my might
To block out their voices
She walks past him and his interrogation
Fueling his frustration
Until she is forcefully grabbed by the hem of her shirt
And I’m still sitting in my room
Not knowing what to do
So I close my eyes
And try to tell myself it’s all just a lie
But as every second goes by
Her pain amplifies
Along with her cries
The struggle continues until they make it into the bedroom
Five seconds later I hear a loud boom
He’s pinned her to the bed
Repeatedly hits her in the head
And her blood curdling scream lets me know this is not a dream
“Stop! Stop!
Kelly, please call the cops!”
But I can’t, Mom
You see
Why do you only acknowledge me
When you need someone to help you flee
The predicament that you got yourself into
Why did you say that if it weren’t for me-
That I’m the only key
That can unlock you from all your troubles
A part of me
Hears your pleas
But another part of me
Wants to see
You suffer
You neglected me in the past
So maybe you should’ve asked
Someone other than your own daughter
She mercilessly pounds on my door
But it’s locked and she falls to the floor
Leaving trails of blood on the white paint
And I’m hiding under my bed
Knowing that she bled